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Me: Hmmm…do you have any other grappas that aren’t on the menu?
Waiter: Um, well…what are you looking for?
Me: Like, a grappa, but something the chef smuggled over from the old country. A bottle without a label. A bottle with something growing in it.
Waiter: We have Ouzo…but it’s very strong.
Me: Can it take the paint off a car?
Waiter: …
Me: Like, if I dip my finger in it, will it dissolve my nail polish?
Waiter: Well, I can’t drink it, it’s too strong for me
Me: (disapproving side eye) Just bring it.
Waiter: How do you want that? With ice?
Me: ….
Waiter: Um, okay, neat then.
Me: Thank you.