Dancing with the Stars: Week 3

Shandi and Brian: Trying hard this week to stay out of the “red light’ that bathe the bottom two (“It burns!” claimed the beauty queen). She’s sooo much larger than her partner, her arms always seem to be in the way. She’s certainly beautiful to look at, but she’s got an ungainly awkwardness about her that is difficult to get past.

Len: The jive is full of fun, vitality and energy, it’s an All-American dance, and it was a great job. (He did mention her arms going all over the place, though)
Bruno: It’s all about precision. Great performance, but watch your free arm!
Carrie Ann: I was more impressed this week, you did better, but watch your strength. Build your core.

Scores: 7, 7, 7 for a 21 out of 30

John and Edyta: “All I do is listen to Edyta”….smart strategy, John. She appealed to the actor in him, to give him direction for the tango. His shoulders looked a little hunched, and some of his steps were flat-footed, but he certainly had the “tango snarl” downpat.

Len: you want to see flex knees, sharp staccato movements…you got into the character, but you lost your hold a few times. Character was great, technique was not as good.
Carrie Ann: You had a good frame, it was solid, decent, you could have done more with the theatrics.
Bruno: I think it was really mafioso tango, I thought the character was spot on. Technically wasn’t perfect, but interpretation–great.

Scores: 7, 6, 7 for a 20 out of 30

Clyde and Elena: They brought in Clyde’s mom to demonstrate Zydeco dancing, which didn’t appear to have ANYTHING in common with the jive, but it made for a poignant video clip. Poor Clyde…when his bottom half moved, his top half was nearly still, and vice versa.

Carrie Ann: There’s something so endearing about you. I know you have more.
Bruno: It was like a jive through a dense fog. We have to see the goods. Where’s the beef?
Len: I thought you were really coming along last week, but this week, you’ve made a Uturn. You never pointed your toes, your arms were dangling down…as a dancer, it didn’t happen.

Scores: 6, 5, 5 for a total of 16 out of 30

Laila & Maksim: They tried to build tension and uncertainty showing that Laila had lots of traveling this week….ha! I’m not buying it. This girl is set to win this competition, there’s no way she’s NOT going to rock out the tango. Her focus and intention when she dances is the best in the competition…why don’t they just hand this girl the ugly disco ball trophy and get it over with?

Bruno: You started well, why the long break in the middle? It spoiled it!
Len: Bruno is completely correct, once you take up hold, you don’t break it until the end.
Carrie Ann: They’re right, you broke the rules, but you’re still the most fantastic girl out there.

Scores: 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21 out of 30 Whoa…they must be getting tons of votes for the judges to give such harsh numbers. They know darn well Layla is safe, so they’re trying to create some false drama. America, don’t be fooled!

Apolo & Juliane: They’re young and energetic….is there any doubt their jive will be great? They kept the pace quick and lively, although her short platinum wig reminded me a bit too much of a post-meltdown Britney in her rehab pics.

Carrie Ann: It was a little sloppy.
Bruno: You’re so much fun, you should be a ride in Disneyland (ugh…you wish, Bruno)
Len: You ARE a dancer, and you were really good.

7, 8, 8 for a 23 out of 30…overly generous

Joey & Kym: What was the purpose of having R2D2 there? What does Star Wars have to with the tango?? Doesn’t matter, they came out and did a great, campy dance, complete with a glowing green light saber at the end.

Len: It was good! One bit of advice: your bum sticks out a bit!
Carrie Ann: That was a well rehearsed, tight, solid, entertaining performance
Bruno: The Force is still with you! Watch your posture, well done.

Scores: 8,8,8 for a 24 out of 30

Ian & Cheryl: Ewww…Cheryl taunted Ian that he has to “show Bruno what you got”…then to really drive the point home, she took him to a male strip club, to show him how to move his hips for the show. Oh man…someone have some ice water ready for Tonoli. Their performance was energetic and quick, and I don’t think enough can be said about Cheryl Burke’s considerable talents as a choreographer. She knows EXACTLY what moves to throw in for maximum impact.

Bruno: Always knew you had it, but you finally flaunted it.
Len: You messed up on the last few bars, but a great jive.
Carrie Ann: It was a 9 until the end…the jive is your dance.

Scores: 8, 8, 8 for a 24 out of 30…overly harsh!

Leeza & Tony: “The most challenging part of the tango is the dang frame!” says our perceptive gal Leeza. She says she’s driven to do well this week, and will channel her primal feelings out onto the dance floor. Bleh…who can tell what she’s feeling behind that black veil and all the Botox? Their dance was boring and the song was insipid, but they DID hold frame. Yawwwwwwn. Not even Gibbons’ almost-flash of boob (and her “tramp tattoo”) did nothing to generate excitement.

Carrie Ann: You brought it to the floor this week.
Len: It was very well performed.
Bruno: I was right, a touch of the lady of the night never hurt. You’re back in business.

Scores: 8, 8, 8 for a 24 out of 30…eh, I think it was only so-so

Heather & Jonathan: Oh lord, here we go again, marveling at the one-legged wonder. The judges said they’re not going to judge her any less harshly than the dancers with two legs, but they’re clearly giving her special consideration. The footage of her going in to get a “more bouncy foot” was pretty cool, though.

Bruno: We have to rename you, “The Incredible Heather Mills”!
Carrie Ann: You blew my mind. You make me want to dance.
Len: You’ve got such great musicality in your dancing. If you can do the jive, you can do any of these dances.

Scores: 8, 8, 8 for a 24 out of 30

Billy Ray & Karina: Ooohh…did you catch the promo before the commercial break? I loved how Karina had big smiles for Billy Ray, but as soon as she thought the camera was off, she made a face, rolled her eyes, and walked off stage with nary a glance at her partner. Hmmm….something tells me the latin bombshell and her country boy aren’t exactly getting along in real life. She was all smiles again when the break was over, but we’re not buying now! Ha!! Karina took him horseback riding to get him to “channel his inner cowboy.” Billy Ray seemed to think he’d stink up the dance floor, and what was up with all that eyeliner he had on?

Oh man…you could see him counting the steps out while he danced (two, three, four).

Carrie Ann: That took balls. That had moments of brilliance.
Len: What I liked, you looked as though you’re really trying to do it, part of it was Transylvania, but well done.
Bruno: It’s not quite Rhett Butler yet, but keep trying.

Scores: 7,7,7 for a 21 out of 30…Billy Ray got the same as Laila Ali? No way!

The show tonight didn’t have any really super performances that stood out…I think they need to give these folks LOTS more time to practice, or throttle back on the difficulty of the choreography.

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